were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
