drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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