i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Randomize