Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
