We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
