found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize