he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
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