ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
