singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
