The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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