I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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