So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
