very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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