Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Randomize
