I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
