this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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