so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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