Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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