wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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