You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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