hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
