Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
