Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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