but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
