i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Pants are for mortals
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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