I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
