dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
