Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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