You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
We smell like vodka and hangover
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