I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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