remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
