I want to have your abortion
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
