is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
