he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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