I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize