I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
