What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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