i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
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