For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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