do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
