OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
