Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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