Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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