Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
