dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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