I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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