your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
