and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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