well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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