he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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