Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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