haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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