Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
