Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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