Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
