i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
