I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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