So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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