You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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