remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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