i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
