Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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