TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
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