there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize