You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
