Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
