Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
