just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
