I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
